HELLFIRE! Kane Wins Mayoral Seat!!!

I could just hear Good ol' JR screaming "OH GOD!" as the final ballots were tabulated. Glenn Jacobs, the wrestler known as Kane, is the new mayor of Knox County, Tennessee.

"This professional wrestler—and I normally don’t use wrestling analogies for the campaign—but this professional wrestler got into a no-holds-barred, last-man-standing match, and when the bell rung, he was victorious," Jacobs said in his victory speech Thursday. "We were victorious."

The election, which was a relatively easy victory for Jacobs, (not unlike a squash match against the Brooklyn Brawler or Barry-O) comes just two months after the nearly seven-foot-tall kayfabe brother of the Undertaker secured the Republican nomination in a significantly tighter primary race. In the primary, Jacobs beat Knox County Commissioner Brad Anders by only 23 votes.

Requests for comment made to Paul Bearer on the other side were not immediately answered.